


Quite the Unusually Wonderful Day

by Quarks_And_Stuff



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Hallucination Mention, Happy birthday Deceit!, M/M, Mentions of blood and gory stuff, Remus being a handsy boi, Theres some talk of sex, and bones, both accusing each other of being a bottom, death mention, it's in the background, mentions of eating bugs, no beta we die like men, some smooches, that's basically it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:48:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22551253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quarks_And_Stuff/pseuds/Quarks_And_Stuff
Summary: ...could also be titled "Remus is a Handsy Boi but he is a Very Loving Boyf"Deceit wakes up, not expecting the day to be any different than normal (although with Remus, nothing is ever normal), but it turns out to be quite a day.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit Sanders
Kudos: 94





	Quite the Unusually Wonderful Day

It was the same as any other day. He woke up, took a shower, got dressed, brushed his teeth.

Normal.

It was when he went to wake Remus that things changed.

He would normally put toothpaste on a toothbrush and leave it on the sink, wake Remus up, and refuse to kiss him until he had brushed his teeth, but today…

Remus didn’t answer the door. The loud noises coming from downstairs must have been him, then, and not another creation that had gotten loose.

(That had happened before, and it was _never_ pleasant. It had taken _weeks_ to get rid of the smell last time.)

Still, Deceit was wary, and cautiously crept down the stairs. The sight in front of him was even stranger than anything he could have conjured up in his mind, stranger than the gory creatures that roamed the Imagination.

Remus was shirtless, which wasn’t odd at all, but he was wearing an apron and _making_ something.

And it actually smelled good.

Deceit rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn’t having hallucinations. Perhaps it _was_ a creature, making him see things.

No. Remus was still there when Deceit opened his eyes, and now he was staring right at him, beaming.

(Literally beaming, too. The bright light illuminating the kitchen was coming from him.)

“Remus-” Deceit considered how he would continue, eventually landing on a simple “what?”

“I’m making food for you! And cross my heart and hope to die- can we even die? We’re not really alive? I mean, I’ve gotten close to dying a lot in the Imagination, I wonder-” He cut himself off, probably about to conjure up some gruesome scene he could die horribly in.

“Focus, darling. You’re making food for… me?”

Remus furrowed his brow for a moment, trying to gather the train of thought from his racing mind. He brightened considerably (both in attitude and literally), “oh yeah! It’s not poisoned or anything, but I think I put some sugar in the mix to make it sweeter and _I_ thought it tasted good- wait, maybe it was salt? It could have even been cocaine, that’s why my stomach is all fluttery- but anyway! I know you don’t always like the same things I do though so I hope you like it still!”

While he rambled, Deceit had finished making his way down the stairs and was now inspecting the pancake batter that hadn’t been used yet. There were some small lumps, but it seemed they were only from Remus not mixing thoroughly enough.

…and also some dead bugs, which Deceit fished out and gingerly set on a paper towel.

(He would realize later they weren’t dead when he found them wandering the kitchen, futilely trying to escape while drowning in pancake batter, but for now they were stuck on the paper towel to dry off.)

Remus laughed nervously. “Whoops, I don’t know how those got in there.” Nervous was odd coming from him.

“It’s quite alright, dear.” Deceit flashed Remus a quick smile and was rewarded with Remus perking up immediately and placing his warm hands on Deceit’s waist, just under his shirt.

Deceit resisted the urge to pull Remus’s apron off and hug him tightly to steal his warmth. “Now, what’s the occasion?”

Remus got a strange look on his face and pulled his hands away. Deceit regretted saying anything. 

“You don’t remember?”

“Remember what? Is it someone’s birthday?”

“Dee Dee, it’s _your_ birthday. That’s what the pancakes are for. And I have other stuff, too! In the Imagination! I overthrew one of Roman’s villages so I would have a nice place for it!”

Deceit was still reeling. His birthday? He hadn’t even realized that was today. He quickly composed himself. “Oh? You didn’t hurt any of the people there, did you?”

“I tried not to! I really did, but something escaped from my side and kind of… maybe… ate one? Or two? Or… all of them?” Remus backed away, looking guilty. His light had dimmed almost completely.

He blinked slowly. Well, there wasn’t any lie in his words, it was an accident. “It’s alright, darling, it wasn’t your fault.”

“Tell that to Roman.”

Deceit scrambled for an answer. “Ooor we don’t even mention him today, hm?”

Remus considered this for a few moments, absentmindedly chewing his lip and drawing blood from it. It dripped down his chin and onto the floor. Deceit’s eyes followed it, pausing on Remus’s chest. He snorted.

The apron, which he hadn’t quite noticed except for noting its presence, had a large eggplant emoji. Part of it was censored, and underneath, ‘sexy’ was printed in large letters. The whole thing just screamed Remus.

Remus glanced at him. “Like it, Double Dee?” He stepped closer, letting his breath fan over Deceit’s ear. “You could have something even better in your butthole tonight.”

Deceit shivered and pushed Remus away. “Bold of you to assume there’ll be anything in _my_ ass tonight, with you there. We all know how much a bottom you are.”

He scoffed dramatically. “ _I’m_ the bottom? Remus laughed loudly. “You’re the subbiest sub to ever sub, Dee.”

Deceit waved a hand dismissively. “Whatever.” He examined the stack of pancakes Remus had already made, most of which were horribly misshapen. Surprisingly enough, none seemed to have any raw batter left in them, and though there were some bugs he could see, it was nothing he couldn’t handle.

He reached up to open a cabinet and retrieve a plate, but it moved just out of reach. He frowned and moved to his toes to better reach. Again, it moved, and Remus stood behind him, running his hands all over Deceit wherever they could reach.

He sighed in mock annoyance. “Remus, _really_.”

“What? You can’t blame me. Your butt looks great in these pants, I can’t keep my hands to myself.” He squeezed to prove his point, slipping a hand down the back of Deceit’s pants.

“Can I at least have breakfast first?” He huffed. Remus put both hands on his shoulders and spun him around, softly kissing him. Much softer than what Deceit had been expecting, though he wasn’t complaining.

(He had been recalling a different time something like this had happened. It had been wonderful.)

“I would be offended if you didn’t at least try my masterpieces!” Remus reached over to grab two plates, piling one high with pancakes and putting two on the other.

They sat to eat, Remus taking the apron off but neglecting to put a shirt on (not that Deceit was complaining). The pancakes were surprisingly good, although Deceit picked out every bug he could. Remus was smitten, watching Deceit with a lovesick expression, still devouring his own stack.

When they had finished (Deceit had gotten seconds), Remus, too impatient to wait for the dishes to be washed, snapped them away and held out a hand to escort Deceit to the Imagination.

“You need to see what I made! There’s no blood or guts, but I think there’s a few bones scattered around.” He gasped loudly. “I should make a knife out of bone! That would be so badass. Ooh, or a morningstar. How do you think Roman would react to me showing up with _that_?”

Deceit chuckled at Remus’s excitement. “I’m sure he would be very surprised, darling.”

The portal opened, and Remus led the way, summoning his morningstar with the hand that wasn’t holding Deceit’s. Thankfully, nothing attacked them, and Remus rambled on about ideas he had.

The dark forest around them suddenly morphed in the grassy fields and blue skies of Roman’s part of the Imagination. The small village near the border was deserted save for a large skeleton of some kind of creature. 

True to his word, there was no blood and guts left. Remus skipped along, still clinging tightly to Deceit’s hand, rubbing his fingers idly over the exposed scales. Remus never made him feel like a freak, like the snake features were something that needed to be hidden.

Remus led Deceit to a large pavilion in the center of the village, instructing him to cover his eyes before it was in sight. A large banner read “HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEE” in bright yellow paint. The streamers and decorations were a haphazard mix of green and yellow, and a large cake in the center had a large snake winding around it, fake, of course.

Deceit was positioned right in the entrance, so he would see it all as soon as he opened his eyes.

“Aaand now!”

Deceit was stunned into a momentary silence. He took a few small steps forward to examine the decorations. 

“You did all of this for _me_?”

“Of course, Dee Dee! You’re my favorite smol snek!”

Tears filled Deceit’s eyes and a smile stretched across his face. “Thank you, darling, so much. It’s perfect.”

Remus glowed (again, both figuratively and literally) at the praise. He picked Deceit up in a hug and spun them around, kissing him happily. 

“I love you, Dee. Happy birthday.”

“I love you too, my dearest.”

(And if they had an exciting night later, well, that was no one’s business but their own, was it?)

**Author's Note:**

> There you have it! Deceit's birthday fic! I hope you enjoyed it, I sure enjoyed writing it. 
> 
> If you ever want to provide prompts in the comments or just talk to me I'm cool with it.
> 
> (also, I haven't properly said it yet- hap borth dee!!) :D :D


End file.
